what do you see?
You only see what they want you to see
Like Through the focus lens of the camera
Or Filters on a photo
A facade with a caption
Withholding the truth but not in entirety
Its A baby girl that has everything
A little girl with the dreams
From dolls dressed in pink to a woman embossed in white
Not really a lie just not as it seems.
Feeling empty on the inside with life in shades of black/white
tilted on an uneven playing field
mind distorted, unstable, blank
Alone.
This What happens when a little girl’s dreams don’t turn out to be reality
Slowly Everyday becomes the same as yesterday
Waking up bathed in uncertainty
Soaked in grief
Constantly drowning and not even trying
Having something but feeling nothing
No growth no hope
No desire no flight
Like sands on the shore
waiting for the waves to come crashing
Something, Big enough to clear my mind, show my form
The very essence of my being
I close my eyes and see these dreams like stars in the night sky
Stars falling
But stars don’t just fall
There must have been a call, its a gradual one and the fact remains that something’s wrong.
Being proud is not the case
It’s the thoughts in my mind that race
Walking is a pain, sleeping; a nightmare
And sitting, an ache in the back so strong that I can’t stop the tears.
I cry, struggle to breathe, to live
Carrying the weight of the world on my chest, and that very same world hurling stones at me, graciously sliding under me, making me quiver with no balance, scared of my fate and dead in heart.
No happiness but sorrow and joy; sadness that can never cloy
It could be the unending rage
Between the two with a slight difference in age
It could be the hurdles along the way
That seem difficult to relay
My real needs are hidden beneath the surface
And my dreams at the top are the most delicate of all
So then think, stop
Become my safety blanket, slow the impact of my fall
Pick up my pieces, build me back up
Bridge the gap in my mind between my truth and my lies
“READ BETWEEN MY LIES, READ ME UPSIDE RIGHT”
“SEE THE TRUTH IN MY EYES, HURT IN MY MIND”
But Until then
Ill be crying every night
With my strong front I’ll be putting up a fight
Joy on the outside and solid smile
I’ll stay small, hidden behind my wall
I’ll grow, from little girl with the dreams to a little girl with the dreams coming true
The false dreams; the falling stars
You’ll only see what I want you to see
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